My son Eden is autistic and non-verbal. I talk to him all the time anyway, because I’d hate to find out one day that he understood everything and I’d said nothing. In this video, walking home from the park, he holds my hand, which he doesn’t often do, and squeezes it when I talk to him.
I’d hate to find out one day that Eden understood everything, and I’d said nothing.
So I do most of the talking.
A hot afternoon
This was just a walk home from the park on a hot afternoon. Nothing planned. Eden took my hand, which he doesn’t do a lot. Holding hands willingly is something we don’t take for granted.
Watch his hand. When I talk to him, he squeezes mine. He does that quite a bit when I tell him I love him. It’s his answer.
Sometimes love doesn’t need words.
Why I keep talking
When your child doesn’t speak, the world tends to stop speaking to them. People talk over them, about them, around them. I get it. When there’s no reply, it feels like nobody’s listening.
But Eden has shown me, again and again, that he’s listening. He leads my hand to the door when he wants to go out. And on a walk home from the park, he squeezes my hand when I tell him I love him.
Non-speaking does not mean non-thinking.
Worth knowing
A 2024 study of 31 non-speaking autistic people found more than half responded to a letter task the way a literate person would. The lead researcher said their capacity for language has been seriously underestimated.
Jaswal et al., 2024Not all communication is spoken. A squeeze, leading someone by the hand, a sound or a look can all be a clear answer.
Our experienceautistic Australians were counted in 2022. More than half had a profound or severe communication restriction.
ABS, 2022Questions people ask
What does non-verbal or non-speaking autism mean?
It means an autistic person doesn’t use spoken words to communicate, or uses very few. It does not mean they don’t understand. Eden communicates with his hands, his sounds, his face and by leading us to what he wants.
How can I connect with a non-speaking autistic child?
Speak to them directly, keep your language simple, give them time, and watch for the small replies: a squeeze, a glance, a sound, moving closer. Follow their lead on touch.
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If this meant something to you, the best thing you can do is subscribe and share it with someone who has never lived with autism. That is who I am making this for.
Sources
- Jaswal VK et al., Autism, 2024; University of Virginia, study reveals unexpected literacy in autistic people who cannot speak (March 2024).
- Australian Bureau of Statistics, Autism in Australia, 2022.
